you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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