He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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