There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
