God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i don't like sucking hair
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize