i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
