remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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