My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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