I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
