so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
They took my balls.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
