is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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