so that wasnt chicken after all
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just high enough for therapy.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
