I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
