I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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