Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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