He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
