hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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