whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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