People in love make me want to vomit
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
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