dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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