I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
