Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I am midnight drunk by noon
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there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
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Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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