im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
