I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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