Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You pole danced in your parka.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
