Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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