I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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