And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
