Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
