I didn't shave. On purpose
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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