I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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