Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
