It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
