Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
