But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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