took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize