you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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