I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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