You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
