whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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