Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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