Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
