Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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