Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
