i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
It's just like the Real World with babies
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
