You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
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My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
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Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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