She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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