one might say we're banned from that church
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
