The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
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i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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