I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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