first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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