$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
im about as happy as oj after his trial
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
