so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
