One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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