Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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