You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
