That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
