She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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